Friday, August 1, 2014

BB16:Rate the Player not the Game.

Everyone and their poodle does rankings based on game in the BB house. I thought I'd switch things up and rate these nut cases in the order I want them out of the house and bestow them my own brand of awards. Agree to disagree? K? Thanks!

#1 - The Boytch Award goes to Frankie. He thinks he's all that and a puddle of sparkles. Well, I don't really care if he's related to a pop singer. He needs to go. I'm over his accents, his characters, his hoarding of the HoH, his pop-up appearances in each room, his condescending manner and his butt-digging. I'm tired of him being on Team America and constantly using it to throw Zach and Donny under the bus. Thankfully, he's the main target this week, and for once, I will relish this task to its fruition. Grande, go home.


#2 The Douche bag Award goes to Caleb. I want his freeken day to end already, hopefully the second out in DE. The delusional accomplishments he brags about, his constant need to one-up everyone's story, his obsession with finding a woman to subjugate, his absolute lack of game, make him the single-most hated HG, of this season, almost unanimously. Some find him entertaining, yeah. I'll find him entertaining when a team of psychiatrists study him for his various psychoses. They could write a book. And I would be entertained reading it.



#3 The Rat's Apprentice Award goes to Christine. All she's done this season is pant after the boys' attention by being their pet snitch, backstab every woman who's trusted her or tried to ally with her, including Nicole, and trash-talk the women who are prettier than her. I won't talk about her appearance. It speaks for itself. I was rooting for Christine at the beginning of the season, but it ended almost immediately. Her insecurity has lead her to target women for non-game reasons and to sit there while the guys in the alliances she's lucked into, laugh in her face at the idea of women allying in the house. She laughs right along. Keep laughing Christine, your name has been mentioned multiple times for eviction.

#4 The Irrelevant Award goes to The Bachelor contestant - that chick whose name starts with the letter V. All she's done this season is whine about imaginary offenses that other women have perpetrated against her, like look at her , rub up on the guys, including married Derrick, (excluding Donny, probably thinking he's a handler or something), waiting to be handed a rose and secretly wondering where Chris Harrison's at. Maybe he'll make a guest appearance in jury. Wait. Sorry. Wrong network.


 #5 The Soccer Award goes to Jacosta for all her fake crying and injuries. She'll probably ride to F5 because every season has one of them -except last season when F5 was all of them. You know, the house guest who's just there as filler. For enabling Caleb's obsession with Amber despite knowing how uncomfortable it made Amber and being a so-called "woman's advocate", for knowing that Christine ratted Amber out and not giving the latter a heads up, she needs to go. This woman is not just useless, she's detrimental.





#6 The Toddler Award goes to Cody. For wussing out in his only HoH then talking smack about things he has no intention on following through with, for his smarmy flirtations (which are reflected in his Twitter account, run by his brother who's pimping Cody out to slews of thirsty women), for his absolute inability to make any moves in the game but snort back his snot while talking big, he's gotta go. He's lucky he's in an alliance with Derrick which will take him farther, but meh. 

#7 The Charlatan Award goes to Zach. Oh he's a fan fave and I know I will get flamed for this. I don't happen to share the opinion that Zach is "brilliant" and "entertaining". His major accomplishment is coining "Froot Loop dingus"; but if he weren't part of a dominating alliance, he would have been gone a couple of weeks ago. His shenanigans which involve mostly targeting women, his clueless eagerness to follow Frankie's directives which always put his game in jeopardy and his "bold moves" which include getting himself nominated, will end this joker's game. He just wants to go to jury so he can buy a Prius, anyway.

#8 The Jackhole Award goes to Hayden. I would have liked him had he not been so needlessly vicious towards Amber. I cannot get behind a guy who repeatedly voices his desire to murder someone. Sure, Amber put him up but he knows that those nominations were railroaded by the Douchebag Alliance. His hatred grew from there, targeting Amber but none of the guys. Anyway, he's riding in the middle so he'll more than likely go far because there are bigger targets. 

#9 The Froot Loop Dingus Award goes to, of course, Nicole. She's this high up solely for her willingness and hopefully successful intention to backdoor Frankie this week. Up to this point, she's been scared of her own shadow but this week will make or break her. She already was a target before winning HoH, so getting out Frankie might bring her up in the ranks. She's got multiple alliances with several clusters of house guests, but we all know, alliances are only as good as their actions.

#10 The Fear the Beard Award goes to, you know it. Donny has been the number 1 fan favorite in all polls. Why? Because he's a decent person and people respond to his genuine nature. He's perceptive, asks the right questions and makes the right moves for his own game. He's been a "pawn" 3 times, won a slew of competitions and has been targeted repeatedly. Winning HoH will, no doubt, increase the target but, so far only Frankie and Caleb have voiced the desire to evict him. Hopefully, they will get evicted before that comes to fruition.

#11 The Stealth Award goes to Derrick. He's the mastermind behind a lot of the game moves this season and he's done it without visibly getting blood on his hands. I'm not too crazy about his egging on Caleb's insane thirst for Amber, but I'm sure it was motivated by game reasoning. Derrick does not say or do anything without a hidden motive to get him to the end. He's playing a similar game to Frankie's but he's not as openly aggressive. He's in everyone's ear with words of encouragement, while subtly guiding them to his conclusions. The only person who's initiated discussions about how big a threat he is has been Donny. 

I would love for these two to make it to final 2, should all the stars align. They would give each other a run for their money. I don't know if they would actually choose each other to take to the end but it depends on who's there with them. Donny has expressed that he wants to be sitting in the end with a worthy competitor. I don't think Derrick would have the same intentions.

Stay tuned! :)